Truth Should Be Simple - Part 3

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

Still having a lot of emotional and psychological turmoil boiling up around how this blog is unfolding:

“People don’t give a fuck about your secretes. You are so narcissistic thinking that people give a rat’s ass about you. You don’t have to give details, do you? Just go on doing the fluffy stuff, that’s the least harmful to you. Take a few days off and think about this. End it now, you might have only one or two people look at it right now, they won’t care if you simply stop writing.”

Still, trying to keep me safe. I honor and love my self for having the genius to protect me. Thanks.

So let me continue with this idea of Light. This Light that I’m talking about has wonderful qualities such as: unconditional love, compassion, peace, strength, power, authority, infinite intelligence and lots of other capacities of Being.

Now how New-Agey and cliché is that, but I find it to be true. So, let me focus on Love right now. Love isn’t just an emotion as it’s been defined by society, it’s a full-blown experience of Being bursting forth in whatever form of creative expression it can imagine. It’s the Sun rising each morning, a flower blooming and releasing it’s essence into the air, an eagle soaring overhead appearing utterly still as it rests on the rising thermals, it’s the puppy chasing it’s tail, or the smile of a newborn baby. It’s Life with a capital “L.”

Now when I sense into my body as to what society calls love, I experience it as possessiveness. “This is my wife / my husband / my significant other.” “This is my child / my pet / my car.” People, pets, whatever are objects to possess and that possession is what we call love. It’s all about ownership. “I can love my significant other, but I’m jealous if anyone else looks at them in that way, so you better start looking the other way right now. They are not allowed to ‘love’ my significant other in that way, only I am.” The operative word here is “my”. This is the child proclaiming “Mine, mine, mine!!!!” (Flash to seagulls in Finding Nemo.)

To have the firsthand experience of the Love that I’m talking about, simply look at a newborn baby. This is Love that has not yet been warped and tarnished to look like what we expect love to look like. This Love just naturally flows from them, they haven’t learned yet how to contain it. It’s the nuclear fusion of a Sun bundled into a package about 21” long, weighing 10 pounds radiating out megatons of pure Being at light speed in every direction. Most people’s reaction to experiencing a newborn is to smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s our inner self recognizing its True Nature as the Sun-ness that it is. The smile and fuzziness have a real hard time not arising.

People who have an adverse reaction to newborns are in reaction to being activated to their True Nature. It takes so much energy to keep our True Nature from actual arising, to keep it safe, but it only takes the presence of a newborn to rip it down. So people get angry for having their supposedly unbreachable fortresses breached so easily. We think our defenses are so strong, but they’re just paper houses in a hurricane.

Yet, if we think about it, wouldn’t we want people to smile every time we came into their presence? Think about how human relations would take an evolutionary step forward if we came to all our interactions from the place of our True Nature. Instead, we put up fortresses of solitude and people don’t experience Love when they come into our presence, they experience fear, defensiveness, standoffishness, and people are most likely not going to smile when they feel that.

The defenses are going to fall anyway. We’re actually powerful self-healing systems and our True Nature wants to shine as brilliantly as it possible can, so it chisels away at our defenses as fast as we put them up. Most people are at a standoff between their construction and our Ture Nature’s destruction of the defense structures. So why not surrender to their removal instead of fighting it. It will happen in an organic manner that actually won’t overwhelm while it’s happening. Why would our True Nature wish to traumatize us even more? Fighting it only prolongs our suffering and the inevitable.

We need to get over our fear of the Light. We need to let our Sun rise.

Secret of the Day

Let’s start off a little mild. It took a while for me, but after the Internet really got going I found porn. I think most males have. I didn’t look for it every day, but I looked. However, over time it became more frequent until my wife found a picture of a vagina that had been accidently downloaded on to the desktop of her computer. (Oops!! Didn’t catch that!!) After that, I decided to take a closer look at what I was actually drawn to and found that there were a couple of patterns that pointed back to childhood issues / traumas that I was reliving vicariously through the porn. This took the focus off the porn and back onto my own issues. I haven’t completely resolved these issues yet, but they have gone through extensive healing nonetheless.

Looking at the porn is actually re-traumatizing and drains me energetically so I don’t really get drawn back there anymore. It makes me feel too icky, dirty, violated. And it brings up shitloads of guilt and shame when looking at it. Do I still go? Once about every six months or so, for an hour or so. When this happens I look at the content and move it back to my inner processing. A lot of abusive shit happened in my childhood and, believe it or not, the porn is helping me identify what went on. Who would have thunk it?

Man, is my jaw clenched right now. WTF!!!!!